4 more weeks of being pregnant....EVER!

4 weeks from today, Kate will be here!!  I am so excited to not be pregnant anymore (especially with this heat) and even more excited to meet our baby girl!  I feel HUGE and I'm ready to move on to the next journey in our lives..2 kiddos:)  Today, Kate, Jacob and I ventured to the zoo with some friends and my first pregnancy pic was taken (yes at 35 weeks, I'm a slacker).  By looking at this pic, I have a feeling Kate will be tipping the scales at more than 8lbs like her big brother!

Ahhh that feels good:)

5 weeks to go...

Well we are getting close to Kate's arrival...We still don't have a definite date, but it looks like 6/26 or 6/27.  Things are still being coordinated with the surgeons, delivery doctor, heart cath lab and Cardinal Glennon.  We had our "big" meeting with them last Thursday, it was a very emotional day.  Talking to her surgeon, delivery doctor and sitting through more ultrasounds was the easy part...actually seeing the NICU and the hospital where Kate will spend the first few weeks (or longer) of her life was really difficult.  Her surgeon has lots of experience and seemed very confident, but we have no idea what to really expect.  Her heart ultrasound showed no change, meaning that her atrial septum is intact and will need to be opened immediately upon birth to have proper blood flow from her lungs to her heart.  She will be delivered at Cardinal Glennon so she can immediate attention and I will be transferred back to Mercy (St. Johns) a few hours after my c-section.  They can't care for me at Cardinal Glennon, so I will have to leave my baby for a few days to recover.  I know I will probably cry most of the time I'm away from her, but Craig will be with her. 

We did get some 3D pics of her and she is in the 57th percentile for growth.  At 33.5 weeks she was measuring 4lb 13oz.  She is so much more active than Jacob ever was, so hopefully she is as feisty when she arrives!

She looks just like Jacob!!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was a nice, relaxing day for this mommy.  I had high hopes of visiting the Botanical Gardens, but my body and mind were exhausted after a busy week.  Craig got the 3 pink walls of Kate's room painted so now we just need the gray wall completed.  My boys took me out to dinner and got me red roses and the heart necklace I wanted so badly.  It is so beautiful, pink and precious!!  Kate will love it someday! 

It is so hard to believe that in 6 short weeks I will be packing my bag and preparing for Kate's arrival!  The anxious feelings have definitely set in, but I'm also excited to not be pregnant anymore (my back will be so happy).  I am still having weekly appointments to monitor Kate and so far she is doing great.  Craig and I will be going to Cardinal Glennon this Thursday to meet with Kate's surgeons, delivery doctor and nurses.  The plan is for me to deliver at Cardinal Glennon, so Kate will be ready for intervention, if needed.  They don't normally deliver babies there, but I guess we are special;)  I won't get to stay with her though for my recovery from the c-section...they are sending me back to Mercy since they can properly take care of me.  That will be so difficult, but I know I need those first few days to recover, so I can be super strong for Kate. I will update once we know more of the details.  And Kate is having a growth ultrasound this week...I'm so curious to see how big she is getting b/c my belly is getting big!

64 days and counting..

Hard to believe that Kate will be here in 64 days!  We still have so much to do in preparation..guess we better get working on that!  There's nothing new to report on her condition (yay no appts until next week), but I found this blog of a little boy who just went through his first surgery and is doing great at home after only 20 days in the hospital after birth.  I found it so uplifting and had to share.  We pray that Kate has a similar experience. 

http://www.iheartsantiago.com/

No! You can't see my face mommy!

Let me start out by saying - I'm already tired of going to the hospital and Dr.'s appts. And I have many, many more until Kate makes her big arrival. 2.5 hours at the doctor's is not the way I would like to spend my 5 hours while Jacob is at school! But on a good note, Kate's growth looks good. At 29.5 weeks, she is measuring ~ 2lb 13oz. I got a few ultrasound pics but none of her face again..she is so stubborn!

I also had a fetal cardio ultrasound and there wasn't much change from 4 weeks ago.  We were informed that Kate might not have a bypass from her underdeveloped left side to the right side, so she might need intervention as soon as she is born.  That would require an immediate transfer to Children's Hospital for a heart catheterization to open her atrium septum so blood does not fill in her lungs because it has no where to go.  It is not a complicated procedure, and will not affect her readiness for her 1st open heart surgery.  Still scary though that she could be transferred so soon.  We will know more on May 1st at our next appointment.  He hopes to confirm one way or the other if she will need the immediate intervention.  It's tough to see at times since she doesn't always cooperate on the ultrasound!

Letting Go

Whenever you are pregnant and feeling those little (and big) kicks and jabs, you can't wait for the day you get to meet your little baby and hold them.  Well when Jacob was born, we didn't get to hold him until the next day due to his full placental abruption birth.  That was really tough, but we knew we would be holding him soon enough.  It was so wonderful to finally have the moment to "meet" our little guy and I'll never forget it. 

So whenever I found out I was pregnant with Kate, I was so excited and hopeful for a positive birth experience this time and getting to hold her right away.  Well that won't be the case again, but for a period of time that is unknown.  I have no idea if we will get to hold her before her first surgery, or have to wait until afterwards, and how long will the wait be??  This has been so hard for me to accept, but I need to let go of my baby holding fantasies.  I know it is what's best for Kate, but it doesn't make it any easier! 

There are so many other things that I need to let go of, but being the perfectionist and planner that I am, I am finding it very difficult.  I hate that I can't plan anything in our lives past the end of June.  I don't like that I can't have everything ready for her when she comes home..we just have no idea what her needs will be.  And we don't even know how long she will be in the hospital so it is hard to make Jacob arrangements.  I have no control over our lives and it drives me crazy! 

Another issue I need to get over is the worry of Kate being developmentally or physically delayed.  Yes, her life (and ours) is going to be tough the first few years, but we will do everything possible to help her with any delays she has.  It is to be expected for a baby that has 2 open heart surgeries in the first 6 months of life, will probably have more difficulty learning to crawl and walk. 

I am going to try my best to let all of this stress go that I've built up because all that really matters at this point is bringing Kate home as healthy as she can be.  Isn't our ultimate goal as parents to provide our children with the best opportunity possible to become happy, productive adults??  The path will always be bumpy and at times seem impossible, but I know that Craig and I have what it takes to give Kate and Jacob the tools needed to succeed in life!

One thing I did get to plan...Kate's 1st baby blanket:)  I know hospitals can be very chilly, so this will keep her super warm!

Sisters by Heart

We received this care package from a support group called Sisters by Heart on Wednesday.  They are a group of heart moms who came together to provide support to newly diagnosed HLHS babies and their families.  They are a wonderful resource at the beginning of our journey with HLHS and have already answered many of our questions about the first few weeks after birth. 

The care package had so many helpful items such as: notepad/pen, mom planner, journal, pacifiers, hand sanitizer, moisturizer, blanket, side snap onesie, onesie w/ hat, baby legs and a very small hospital gown.  It also had a teddy bear for Jacob, so he didn't feel left out!  We love everything and are so grateful for their generosity and knowledge!